Proud Mother

Well May 22, 2010 marked a monumental moment in Hayden's life. No not his first steps, first words, first tooth, first sleeping through the night but this was a first. It was the first time he made it through an entire hour of Sunday school. We owe a big thanks to cousin Addison who went to Sunday school at our church for the first time and offered Hayden some words of encouragement and some "big sisterly" support. He really didn't want to go and was crying out for Aunt Andrea as she handed him over to the nursery staff. Through the glass they peered and Mom and Andrea both said he looked so pitiful but left him at my request. After Landon was dedicated we dropped him off in his classroom then decided to walk by Hayden's. I couldn't believe my eyes. He was sitting at the table for the lesson and chatting with Addison and touching her arm. I do not think I have been as proud of him as I was then. Jeff and I went to church and anxiously waited to see if his child id would show on the screen. Both our children made it the entire service. When we went to pick up Hayden we peaked in to see Addison playing and then happily helping clean up toys as Hayden sat in the middle of the room looking lost and sad. He started to rub his eyes and tears were near so I quickly gave the attendant our ticket and they brought him to me. We praised and praised him for staying in school and heard all about his hour long stay in the nursery. They brought us Addison as well thinking they were fraternal twins but
because I didn't have her ticket they had to put her back in the classroom. The volunteer told us they thought they were twins and that Addison was very motherly towards Hayden and tried to comfort him. She then told us she also acted like the big sister to him and was eager to inform Hayden as to what he was not allowed to do. Jeff and I have tried numerous techniques from bribery, positive reinforcement, consistency and countless trips to collect our son after twenty minutes of sobbing. This is the first time our son wasn't a red faced, swollen eyed, snot and slobber covered child when we came to get him from the nursery. We had told him if he made it through the entire school lesson we would take him to buy an electric toothbrush like ours. He remembered our promise and as guests returned to our house to celebrate Landon's dedication we pulled up to the local Walmart to purchase a toothbrush of all things. He has brushed his teeth countless times since and has even taken his toothbrush to Dede and Pawpaw's house too. Now I wish I could say this was not a one time only performance but sadly it is. He has not returned to Sunday school since. Last week when we tried he cried the whole way to church and begged "pwease mommy don't make me go to school, pwease, no wanna go" He was so worked up that no amount of praising or reward was going to work so instead he had a choice. Go to church with us and sit, stand, sing and be quiet as we are required to do or go to school and have fun. He chose church with us. As we walked to the escalator our conversation was as follows:

Me: Yep somehow I think this is going to be a great time from his viewpoint. What kid doesn't think it's fun to ride the escalators!

Jeff: Ohh no. We're not taking the escalator. We're taking the stairs.

As we go up the stairs Hayden is all smiles and happy that we did not abandon him yet again at Sunday school.

Jeff: Hayden this is not going to be any fun at all; we're going to church.

Oh great! I'm sure that sounded great to those walking beside us. Son please learn that church is no fun. Your not going to like it at all. Somehow I don't think that is the message we want to send our son. No he didn't mean it that way at all but to a bystander or say an impressionable two year old that is exactly as it sounded.

Well he made it through the hour and fifteen minute service. He did fantastic. He modeled everything we did; stood when we did; sat when we did; clapped as those were baptized and tapped his foot to the music as we did. He seemed to enjoy himself immensely and had a look of satisfaction on his face. Needless to say I don't think he will be going to Sunday school anytime soon.

I remember when I was about 4 and my friend Rachel had been attending preschool. Mom thought it would be a good idea for me to go as well and so she enrolled me into the same class as my best friend. I think I went all of two, maybe three times, and HATED it! I cried and pleaded for her not to send me back and you know what? She listened and respected that at 4 years of age I wasn't ready to take on preschool. I look back on that and think how she could have handled that situation differently and told me that I had to go. What impact would that have had on me. Would I still have loved school as much as I did when I finally went to grade school? I don't know but I do know how I felt that I was heard. So after many failed attempts when Hayden was 1 year old and a few failed attempts at 2.5, I am going to do for my son what my mom did for me and not only hear him but respect that he just isn't ready yet. It will happen soon enough and I'll let him be the one to let me know when he is ready.