My Two Boys

I would be lying if I didn't say that I would like to be a mother to both a son and daughter. When pregnant with Landon I really didn't want to find out the gender so that we could be suprised the day he was born. We had already experienced the first positive pregnancy test, the first all day sickness, the first ultrasound, the first kicks, the first water breaking, the first labor and delivery. So this time I wanted to at least not know something. I wanted there to be some anticipation on the day of the birth. Deep down I was convinced that we were having a baby boy. I just knew it and I was fine with this. After the scare we had with my pregnancy with Hayden all I wanted was healthy, boy or girl just didn't seem to matter anymore. Second time around the same rules applied. I just wanted healthy. Yes I would have been super excited to have a girl but a boy was good too. I think part of me was afraid if we would have found out the gender and they said boy some where way in the back of my mind I would have let out a little sigh. I was scared to death that somwhere deep down there might be a little disappointment and I NEVER wanted to feel that way about my baby. So who could be disappointed when the doctor places a brand new little baby on your belly and announces that you have a very healthy baby boy? No one! So that's exactly what happened. No little disappointment, no little sigh, no little thought of how I wish my little Landon was Molly. Nope not one wee little bit. If I would have had those thoughts they would have been squashed as I have watched Hayden and Landon's relationship develop. Hayden has never been jealous of his brother. Has always been gentle and looking out for him. He still calls him stewgy and tries to include him when he is playing and gets upset when his brother is hurting. He doesn't like that Landon has to go to bed early and takes more naps then he does. I hope they will always have a great bond and be close. For that I am happy. I couldn't imagine my life without my two little boys. God knew what he was doing when he placed another baby boy in my arms. I think that had we had a girl Jeff would try to convince me that two is enough to complete our family and I just don't feel like God is telling me our family is complete. I think that we have room for at least one more little boy I mean baby. And boy or girl we will love him or her just as I love the two I have.

(Jeff if you are reading this no need to panic. I am not saying have another baby right this minute. I'll give you a few more months... I mean years to adjust to two then we can start this ride all over again and maybe again.)